"pool"

 It's always me, no one else could possibly be at fault, or say a hurtful thing, do any wrong, I always have to apologize, no matter what, and not one person ever apologies to me, they just don't, and they should, but they never do. 

If I told them the truth, they'd just scowl at me, I am indifferent to what's happening, it's like a heart turned to dust, just some average body laying there in a pool of light, a body, lifeless and exactly how all of you have treated her, that's all I want, this secret life and secret smiles, all that, it would be best for everyone, that would be best.