I always apologize and no one ever apologizes to me. They can't do it. I can cuss them and be told to apologize, and I will, I will say that I am sorry and it will be meaningful, but no one ever does it for me, no one ever has. I get cussed at, or mocked or whatever, no apology. I'm always viewed as the bad person for telling the truth and how I see it. I barely exist now, I do everything I can to be alone and to not make anyone upset or angry. I hurt people with what I say. I am always the person who people think is a monster, people hate me and it's you, it's what is in you that's wrong, not me, what's in me will apologize and you won't, that's you, not me. I don't care if you say it to where I can barely hear it, but say it, just once, SAY IT, you have no idea what I am going through and how I feel.
Do you remember my hair in the cold morning before it was butchered, yellow, rampant, savage with its loveliness, as if I had slept in a perpetual storm of ghost orchids. Coldness will be my last gift I give, cold as the grave. I hope it hurts everyone the way you've hurt me.