When I am not on medication my brain races too fast. I'll be happy and laughing, pretending that I am running into open arms and then it's a calamity of car wrecks and shattered glass on the highway, death. Things that make me sad, how the grass next to the road looked like small torches, it all caught on fire, everything did. I hate the smell of burnt things, especially people. Organs all messed up, punctured this, broke that, jaw wired shut. Little baby arms severed and in the road. A shoe, just a shoe in the middle of the road ..like it belonged to a one-legged invisible person. Sirens and flashing lights. Bleary flood of traffic and voices, not a star in the sky, people there to help, teeth knocked out, the torches burning into the sad eyes, that's what it's like, isn't that funny. Makes me laugh and cry. Happened on this day. I can write it, but I can barely say it, it's hard for me to say, no one can hear me.