Today is a new day, maybe the rain will be for me and the grass will grow and flourish, the flowers will shiver and bristle and be soothed by the sun-kissed rays of pale light later, maybe the boxing will be great, Rolly will get his belt and I will be happy forever. I've messed everything up, my whole life, this long-suffering disease, a word that consumes itself, almost as bad as widow or bereavement, a brain in a jar type, something people think you can turn off and on with a switch, I wish it worked that way but it doesn't, it hurts in the daytime and it hurts me every fucking night. It's a new day, it's not the same as yesterday, just as we are not the same.